It's a funny thing, but as the last month of school stumbles through each of it's days, I feel the excitement mounting of having my 8 year old son at home with me for the entire Summer, whilst the other Mums feel a different sort of thrill: the mounting terror of having their kid/s at home for the Summer. I can understand their feelings but they have a great deal of trouble in understanding mine.
How can I explain it ? Well, let's have a stab. First off, I really hate being hot, so Summer is my least favourite of the four seasons. Winter is the very pinnacle of comfort for me from within my colourful knitted tops, scarves and hats. In the Winter you have the choice of adding layers of clothing to achieve a happy temperature. But what do you do in the Summer when you're down to your last piece of flimsy clothing and you're still not comfortable ? Exactly. You can take a dip in a pool or jump waves at the beach but when you're having to adhere to a scholarly routine of morning and afternoon drop-offs and pick-ups, as well as squeezing groceries and other chores into those annoyingly timed hours, it's difficult to find time to spend in any form of water other than your sweat.
So, there's that. Having your kid at home for weeks means no routine so you can sit your buns in a pool any hour of the day, content in the knowledge you don't need to get out before dusk. Emergencies withstanding of course.
Another reason is that I actually enjoy having my son at home. Alright, I admit it, yes, son as in Singular, as in only one kid. But he has the same amount of energy as three children put together and he can start a discussion that robs me of increasing amounts of concentration whilst driving, a talent that will stand him in good stead in the future but which requires a good firm "Stop talking to me or we're both going to die horribly" at the current time. When he's home we play games, read books, take walks to the library, visit museums and galleries, potter around book shops, sit having chats in cafes, share chocoholic ice creams, play in the park, swim in the pool, attack each other around the house. But when he's in school, after a day of having information tipped inside his head and with me tearing around trying to squeeze as many chores into five hours as possible, we both fall into our home afterwards to sit blank-eyed on the couch wishing someone else would make the dinner or at least walk across to the TV and turn it on. We've bcome proficients at Rock, Paper, Scissors to settle who'll expend the next bout of energy after a concentrated year of school.
Last Summer I let him down badly. I procrastinated my way out of organising play-dates with his friends, a fact that was casually mentioned by each parent we bumped into unawares during the weeks off. And I spent too many mornings enjoying the lack of need to get up at the same time as his Dad ( or earlier ), meaning we didn't tend to leave the house until mid-afternoon. This year has been a turn-around, I've enrolled him in a day-camp that starts next week, he has at least two birthday parties to go to, he's met up with at least one friend each week, we've spent the majority of each day outdoors either swimming or walking somewhere and I've only had one lie-in in almost thirty days. Not bad given the half-way point is already rushing towards us.
There will come a Summer soon when he'll turn around and just tell me he's heading out with a friend and I won't see him for the entire day. Or he'll have made his own plans to do something which don't include me, or he just won't feel like doing anything other than closetting himself inside his room with a sign taped on the door clearly stating a need for privacy. And what will I do then ? Will I wander around galleries by myself, turning to empty air to point out some object of interest or snigger at unexpected nudity ? Will I shuffle out of the door, feeling lost but not wanting to be in an empty house by myself ? Will I make fruitless calls to friends who already have plans because they DO plan ahead ? I hope not. I hope he always wants to spend a few days each week heading out together in the car somewhere, planned or impromptu.
Perhaps if I make this time as much fun as possible he'll have more incentive to feel like continuing it well into his teens and beyond. I have my limits, his Dad is far more fun than I am. He enjoys going on roller-coasters whilst I stand there hyper-ventilating at the thought of standing in the queue for one. He can make-up rude, funny stories on the spot which sends them both into fits of laughter, sometimes for long enough that our son has to make an emergency dash to the toilet. They play video-games together for hours whilst I last just seconds before my character dies a messy death, asking constantly "Well, what button do I press to do this ?" to the accompaniment of exaggerated sighs from my progeny as he pauses the game yet again. His Dad is more fun in the pool than I am, they like more of the same books, and my son even says he loves his Dad more than he does me because he sees less of him. But it's not a competition. As long as he still wants to come find me I know it's all OK and he wants to find me more than I sometimes want to go find him. Sometimes I want my space but each time I think that I remind myself that some day I might have more space than I'm ready for. It's a handy thought to have. It gets me up and looking for him, asking him what he feels like doing, giving him a prod when he just wants to sit watching the same movie as the evening before. We'll have a lot of memories of our time together and that's never a bad thing to be left with.
So for those of you dreading a Summer of your own children just spend a little time thinking about the Summers you'll dread because they're not spending them with you. It's too easy to sit back and listen to the sound of bored children, thinking "Why don't they find something to do ?" Why don't YOU find something for them to do, with you ?
For anyone living in Vancouver, BC there's an excellent website with an Index of Activities, although the prices are pretty dated;
www.findfamilyfun.com
Enjoy !
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